Secret Santa
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"Destiny-set, toward the end (Phase-35+), angry at the situation Yzak needs come placating/reassurance."
Wh, I was a bit excited as I read I have to write it for you (since you're the awesome person who made the shrine and all...^^). I hope you'll enjoy the fic... it just didn't want to turn out the way I wanted it to...^^;
I set the story after the destruction of Janiarius and December.
Merry Christmas!^.^
Afureru Omoi
I silently followed Yzak through the corridors of the Voltaire. Januarius and December had been destroyed.
With one single shoot.
Both colonies.
At one time.
And we both became witnesses of it, unable to do anything, not capable of protecting the PLANTS. Even though we managed somehow to damage that damnit thing so much to avoid a second shoot, there were still so many innocent lives taken by a system which resembled the former Genesis so much.
I watched my commander silently. He seemed relatively calm and collected, but I did have the presentiment that this was just the famous lull before the storm. Yzak didn't handle loss well. I bit my lower lip. The silverhaired boy entered our room, directly walking towards his chair and clutched it. I prepared for the worst as soon as the door closed behind me. Which happened.
"This is so fucking pointless!", Yzak lifted the chair and dashed it against the wall. "Damnit! Damnit! Damnit!"He grabbed the papers closest to him and ripped them apart. I was grateful that the whole data was still saved in the computer. However, I couldn't let my friend and lover continue this. I hurried to his side, gripping his wrist tightly.
"Yzak!"
"Let go of me!
"I won't," I replied calmly.
"Damnit! I said let go of me!" Yzak shot an angry expression at me.
"And I said I won't."
"Damnit... why? Why did everything have to turn out like this?! Why?!!"
I could caught a glimpse of the tears which has started to form in Yzak's eyes. I kept silent. I didn't know what to respond. I couldn't even comprehend the situation myself. We fought, fought, fought... and failed, making everything we did seem pointless. I couldn't think of a thing to soothe Yzak's anger. Neither a sarcastic comment nor an answer to his question. I did the thing which first popped into my head. I wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him close. I could feel him sobbing, but the tensed and shaking body made clear that the anger was still very much present. We stood there for a while, just like this. After a certain time I slowly put my hands on his shoulders and squeezed them slightly. "I... I'll go to get something to drink. Try to calm down a bit, okay?"
There was no response and with one last look at my commander I left the room.
I got two bottles of water in the canteen. We indeed didn't drink anything since we came out of the battle. My inner turbulence started to vanish. My head was clear again.
But unfortunately, I couldn't say that for Yzak. The time I returned to our room, there was only chaos in it. All sort of things 'decorating' the floor, including the vase, which has splintered into pieces. In the middle of the mess stood Yzak, breathing heavily, his back turned to me. I rushed to his side, holding both bottles tightly in one hand. Just as I wanted to reach out to him, I became victim of his heavy punch - his fist connected with my cheek as he was furiously turning around. "Ouch!" I rubbed my cheek. "Everything we are doing is so pointless! Every - fucking - thing!" Yzak punched his fists with every word into my shoulders. "Just everything! Athrun is proclaimed dead and we can't do anything! And as the Requiem shot... we were right there! Yet we.. we..."
I watched him quietly as his fury slowly started to turn into desperation. I closed my eyes, letting the bottles go and locked him into my arms. I didn't know how I accomplished it, but somehow I was able to drag him onto the bed. He was lying beneath me, still in my arms, still being tense.
"Wha... what the fuck are you doing?! Dearka!!" Yzak tried to push me away, but I could say he didn't really want to. I leaned my face near his ear, whispering. "You know... we really couldn't do anything about Athrun. We weren't even near him." I felt him slowly relaxing. "And about the Requiem... I.. I know exactly how you feel... but it wasn't useless that we were there." I started to stroke his cheek slightly, not looking at him. "If we weren't there, we couldn't have prevented further shoots and perhaps the whole PLANTS would have been destroyed." By the time I finished my speech I could feel him return my embrace, squeezing my shoulders tightly while he started to cry freely. I lifted my face a bit, moving my lips against his cheek, but barely touching it.
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We sat together on the bed, Yzak calmly leaning against my shoulder while my hand gently rubbed his back. The mood has fortunately lightened a bit. I even felt ready to joke again. "I'll get the bottles which I lost due to your gender caress," I teased him, pointing at the bruise which his punch has left. He was blushing and I could see a flicker of anger in his eyes, not the serious kind of anger, but the kind that was rather cute. "What do you mean?!"
I just laughed and stood up in order to get the bottles. It was fun to watch him, since his punch really wasn't responsible... but it was because of him anyway. "I'm not responsible if you aren't able to hold bottles!" Yzak continued. I picked the bottles up from the trashed floor and returned to the bed, giving him my best teasing smirk. Just as I wanted to respond something, he grabbed me by the collar, pulling me down and kissing me shortly and rather harsh. He quickly pulled away, but instead of realising my collar, he slid his fingers softly over my bruise, muttering a barely hearable "I'm sorry". I'm sure not many people hear these words from Yzak and that's why I couldn't help but feel happy. "It's okay," I smiled as I sat myself beside him, giving him one of the bottles. I opened mine and drank from it. The water had a nice effect on my sore throat. As my eyes fell on the chaos again, I couldn't help but be amused by the idea which just popped into my head. "What would happen if someone would enter the room and see it like this?"
"Shut up!" Was the simple, but Yzak-like answer. I grinned, slid my fingers through his silver hair and leaned my forehead against his. "There you see... it's not useless what we are doing, even though it seems sometimes like this. You're passionate about protecting our home and I believe so are the ones who follow you. You're a great commander. You protect every single member of your crew, like the boy be..."
"Shut up!" Yzak blushed furiously and looked away, suddenly finding the mess he created very interesting. "I... I understand."
As he just continued to look at the floor, I released him from the current grasp. Event though I'm much more used to comfort-situations than 2 years ago, I still have problems to find the right words. I just hoped I found the right words. As my fingers drifted away from the last strands of silver hair, Yzak looked at me in surprise. His face seemed to went through different emotions. I hoped that this play of emotions didn't end up at bad ones. The last thing I needed was Yzak perhaps strangling someone.
Blue eyes stopped me from thinking further. I found myself unable to tore away from his stare. It was burning with an indefineable intensity, an intensity only Yzak possesses... or at least, that's what I thought. In the twinkling of an eye, I found pale fingers entangled in my blond locks, another hand pushing my torso towards the bed and a moist warmth against my lips. A hungry tongue darting into my mouth and..
"Commander Joule!"
Immediately, we both jumped away from each other. A woman was standing in the doorway, her face competing with a strawberry. I sheepishly scratched the back of my head and grinned an 'oops'. We had never been caught before. I still have to learn that jokes can be a horrible thing. Especially if they come true. Yzak shot a "What?!" at her. He obviously wasn't too pleased with the disturbance. The girl froze at his tone. "E... excuse me... I... I... I'll come back later!" She stammered and ran away.
After a few moments passed, I carefully looked at my commander. I could tell that he still was boiling inside at the interruption. I couldn't help but chuckle. "What?!" He snapped now at me. I continued to chuckle.
"I guess we should clean up now."
"Idiot," he smacked me lightly on the shoulder.
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The war had ended.
Finally.
Our new mission was to escort Lacus Clyne. Or 'The Pink Princess', how the old man at the Archangel had used to put it, but I would never use that name outside my mind. Yzak with her admiration for her would kill me. I felt a bit bad that chairman Durrindal had to die, since he saved my head, but other than that, everything was fine. Well, unless we add the 'rumour' about Yzak prefering 'some guy' in his bed going through the Voltaire, shocking especially the poor girls there.
We just brought Lacus back into the arms of the Freedom-pilot, Kira Yamato. Not that I've got a problem with that. I like that soft-spoken guy, but...
"YOU!!!!!!!!!!" Yzak was hanging at Athrun's collar.
"Yzak?"
"What did you think you were doing?!"
"Huh?"
I sighed and tried to ignore the conversation. Why was Athrun even here? He's a member of Orb. It's not that I've got a problem with him, well, at least not anymore since our relationship had improved as we were both fighting for the Archangel. But in combination with Yzak... my ears are always endangered to go deaf. And pretty soon at that if they continue like this.
And perhaps I get a little jealous when I see them together, because Yzak never is that passionate about me. And Athrun has good looks. Although he defected like me, instead of being demoted like me, he was promoted as a member of Faith... and he would fit much better to Yzak's standards and...
I shook my head. It doesn't help if I think like this. I turned to Lacus and Kira and gave them my best smile while being jealous.
"I'll prepare everything in the Council's room. Yzak will take care of everything here."
"Thank you, Dearka-san," the Pink Princess smiled. So did Kira.
I nodded them a goodbye without taking a further look at Yzak.
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"Dearka!!"
I turned at the voice I knew so well.
"Yeah?" I asked lazily.
Suddenly I found two arms flung around my neck and heard a low whisper.
"Thank you."
"For what?" Iasked.
Yzak didn't look me into the eye, but buried his head deeper into the crook of my neck. "For always supporting me... for staying beside me..."
I had to admit that I was a bit surprised at his actions. Why was he thanking me now out of all moments? I thought about pulling him into an embrace, but I decided against it and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. Or rather on his silver bangs.
"I'll wait in the Council's room."
"Really?"
"Of course."
Now my temperamental lover did a thing he rarely did. He gave me a tender smile and a quick kiss before he went back to the room where the others were waiting. "Idiot... you know that I'm always somewhere near you," I muttered.
Because I know for the all too emotional reactions and the anger, there was hidden gentleness and calmness that was worth all the efforts of putting through with him.
